Love Letter to Deer Park (September)

Love Letter to Deer Park

In harmony with Thay’s practice of writing love letters to share gratitude, love, and peace with those around him, we asked practitioners to write love letters to Deer Park describing what it means to them. Please enjoy what we expect to be a monthly feature. The Deer Park monastics are truly grateful for the energy and commitment of the lay sangha as well. 

"A Wellspring of Peace"

Dear Noble Sangha,

Fourteen years ago my life changed forever. I had moved across the country, started graduate school in San Diego, and my boyfriend of three and half years and I had just broken up—that’s a long time to a twenty-four-year-old! It was a time of stress and transition.

Since my friend Heather gave me The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching for my sweet sixteen (with the sentiment “this seems like something you would like”), Thay’s influence on my life has been a source of comfort and joy. (How do our friends know us so well?) I read more of Thay’s books, and turned back to them at this turbulent time.

One day I noticed, on the last page of the book I was reading, a list of Thay’s monasteries. Wait—was that monastery, “Deer Park” here in San Diego county? I looked on my computer, and it said Just come! So—I went.

I remember my awe the first time I drove through the gate, winding the drive up along the mountain. I parked in the gravel parking lot, and ascended the stairs. This wasn’t like anywhere I had ever been. As I climbed the stairs, desert plants tickled my arms, I smelled the sage, and the sunlight warmed my freckled face. Then, at the summit—there was a bell to my right, and, ahead of me, an enormous meditation hall. I felt immediately at peace, and commenced my first Day of Mindfulness.

Since that day, Deer Park has become a wellspring of peace for me. I attended Days of Mindfulness almost every Sunday as I progressed through my graduate program. I joined Compassionate Heart Sangha in Oceanside. I started dating someone new (from Chicago), and he flew out for a retreat. Deer Park quickly became important to him, too. After I finished my MFA, I got a job in Orange County, my boyfriend and I moved to Aliso Viejo, and soon our first daughter was born. 

Our first visit to Deer Park with Vera, she was about two months old. Ben and I were frazzled, exhausted new parents; I was just about to return back to work and was feeling apprehensive about that. Stress levels were high. We needed Deer Park. I remember we parked and went straight to the Tea Room. The baby had cried the whole drive; I fed her as Ben made us some strong black tea. Soon, Vera fell asleep, and Ben and I drank our tea, and felt the meditative energy of Deer Park soothe our souls. She woke, rested, to the sound of the lunch bell. It was mine and her dad’s first good meal in weeks, nourishing in so many ways. 

Another time, when Vera was newly a toddler, I came down from Aliso with her. Throughout the Dharma Talk, she cooed and sang (“la la la”) in my lap. I tried to shush her, but our neighbors only smiled good-naturedly. Leaving the hall later, Br. Phap De stopped us at the door. “Excuse me,” he said. My heart sank to my knees. He smiled, “You’re doing a wonderful job with that little girl.” My heart came back, swelled, I muttered a sincere thank you, and Vera smiled too. 

Those words have stayed with me since (and she now has her own Dharma name, Steady Hyena). Now I live in Ohio and have another daughter. Things keep changing. My visits to Deer Park are few, but I keep the teachings and the energy with me wherever I am. I am immeasurably grateful for Deer Park, immeasurably grateful for Thay’s teachings and all the monastics. With a deep bow, I thank you.

A lotus for you,
Susan
Graceful Source of Peace

If you would like to submit your own Love Letter to Deer Park, please follow these instructions. Thank you kindly for taking the time to share your love and appreciation with us.