In his book Happiness, Thay writes about how we can use a simple, three-breath hug to cultivate closeness with our loved ones. Read his advice and try it for yourself.
When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. Hugging with mindfulness and concentration can bring reconciliation, healing, understanding, and much happiness.
The practice of mindful hugging has helped so many to reconcile with each other-fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, friends ind friends, and so many others.
Practice
You may practice hugging meditation with a friend, your daughter, your father, your partner, or even with a tree. To practice, first bow and recognize the presence of the other. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and visualize yourself and your beloved three hundred years from now. Then you can enjoy three deep conscious breaths to bring ourselves fully there. Practice breathing in and breathing out to bring your insight of impermanence to life. “Breathing in, I know that life is precious in this moment. Breathing out, I cherish this moment of life.” Smile at the person in front of you, expressing your desire to hold him or her in your arms. This is a practice and a ritual. When you bring your body and mind together to produce your total presence, to become full of life, it is a ritual.
When I drink a glass of water, I invest one hundred percent of myself in drinking it. You should train yourself to live every moment of your daily life like that. Hugging is a deep practice. You need to be totally present to do it correctly.
Then open your arms and begin hugging. Hold each other for three in- and out-breaths. With the first breath, you are aware that you are present in this very moment, and you are happy. With the second breath, you are aware that the other is present in this moment, and they are happy as well. With the third breath, you are aware that you are here together, right now on this Earth, and you feel deep gratitude and happiness for your togetherness. You then may release the other person and bow to each other to show your thanks.
You can also practice it in the following way: during the first in-breath and out-breath, become aware that you and your beloved are both alive; for the second in-breath and out-breath, think of where you will both be three hundred years from now; and for the third in-breath and out-breath, go back to the insight that you are both alive.
When you hug in such a way, the other person becomes real and alive. You do not need to wait until one of you is ready to depart for a trip, you may hug right now and receive the warmth and stability of your friend in the present moment. Hugging can be a deep practice of reconciliation.
During the silent hugging, the message can come out very clear:
“Darling, you are precious to me. I am sorry I have not been mindful and considerate. I have made mistakes. Allow me to begin anew.”
Life becomes real at that moment. Architects need to build airports and railway stations so that there is enough room to practice hugging. Your hugging will be deeper, and so will your happiness.
Happiness
By Thich Nhat Hanh
Happiness is structured to introduce those new to Buddhist teachings as well as for more experienced practitioners, Happiness is the quintessential resource of mindfulness practices. Integrating these practices into daily life allows the reader to begin to cultivate peace and joy within him/herself, leading to solidity and freedom from fear, misunderstanding, and suffering. Order from Parallax Press here.